Mirror Image: Anorexia is dumb

It's also a disease, it's also a problem, it's also something I'm not qualified to say much about since it's not part of my life experience or training.

My focus in these posts is to get guys to wake up and stop refusing to see a problem that is sabotaging them in more areas of life than they realize: excess flab. It took me a long time to get to the point where I finally realized my situation and said never again.

Let's take a time-out and focus on what I'm trying to say, because I think it would be very easy to take some things I write when talking about weight issues the wrong way. It's a delicate topic and most people who deal with it have some baggage around the issue.

I'm not saying you're worthless if you're fat.
I'm not saying you're lazy if you're fat.
I'm not saying you need to do what I did.

I'm saying your looks matter because so many first impressions are so firm and so involuntary.
I'm saying prioritizing healthy weight loss will bring with it more benefits than you realize.
I'm saying--now, for the first time--that I don't wish for anyone to get to the point where I was when I started my weight loss. I don't expect others to be motivated the way I was motivated, and I don't wish that motivation on anyone.

If you are struggling with anorexia, please get help. If your friends and family have expressed concern, please let them help. There is such a thing as too much weight loss. I feel dumb writing that: it's so obvious.

Anyway, we're full of exhortations against anorexia in the West. Given the relative rates of anorexia and obesity in the country, we pay way too much attention to anorexia vs. obesity. People think of anorexics as at one point skinny girls, and that tugs at the heart strings in ways that the image of a fat guy simply doesn't. So please, don't get all anorexic on us. But don't let that stop you from waking up.

Mirror Image: Looks matter

I might be alone in this, but the main message I got from TV growing up was that looks don't matter. I internalized a lot of hand-wringing about how beauty is in the eye of the beholder and how our image of what is attractive is unreasonable. I took these as excuses to ignore the development of my own looks. This was stupid.

Your looks are the first part of your first impression. Just as a first impression take can take a lot of future interactions to change, looks can drastically affect the merit of a first impression. "A stitch in time saves nine."

Losing 50 pounds in four months showed me the contrast. Put on your best face. Get your best body. Lead your best life.