Ben Franklin, a Founding Father and a personal hero, won quite a bit of influence by keeping his language around controlversial matters tentative and by posing his arguments as questions. I call phrases like "it seems to me" and "it would appear that" and "why is it that" Ben Franklin phases in his honor. This style of communication is the key to influence without authority.
When someone approaches you with a new idea, is your shield more likely to go up if he asserts that his idea is the the Absolute Right Thing To Do or if he admits that he may be missing something, but if we do X, would that help us overcome problem Y?
Think of one of your prized, well thought-out positions. Maybe it's just me, but did you arrive at that viewpoint by mentally making statements and accepting them as true, or by asking questions that led you to that conclusion? Which questions did you ask yourself?
You see what I did there? The questions that led you to your own well-reasoned conclusion are highly portable, non-confrontational, and eloquent. They will get you further with your audience than merely asserting your case, however correct your final position may be.
Most questions are loaded in one way or another. We call puzzles where the correct answer is not obvious from the question itself "trick questions." Captain Kirk is revered for responding to "either-or" questions from his enemies with a "yes." When you control the questions, people will often follow you to your answers. Is this what Socrates was doing with the Socratic Method? Did he establish himself as a philosopher not on the basis of his thoughts themselves but because he always posed questions which led himself to his own conclusion? A large enough part of me suspects this is the case for me to have considered the Socratic Method just a little bit underhanded as a child.
You can use questions for good, for evil, or to find the truth. Ben Franklin's tentative style of public discourse made him a hard man to contradict. Let us say you are about to propose a boneheaded solution to a problem. Which will make you look the wiser man after the fact: a tentative approach or an assertive approach?
In sum, questions do more than seek feedback, ideas and solutions. Questions themselves can define priorities, values and goals while subtly limiting the universe of possible or acceptable solutions. They are elegant weapons for a civilized age.
