Posting during breakfast today instead of right after my shower--the reason, again, being that I stayed up too late last night. I was working on some stuff for work, which is a most dangerous thing to do after work since it leaks so readily into bedtime--especially when you're not sure you have time to do it during the workday.
Which is itself a problem.
When you feel a deep, urgent need that something needs to be done at work, so urgent that you're willing to work on it at home to make sure it gets done, why would we feel it's impermissible to work on such a thing during the workday? It's bizarre that this should ever be the case. If it is the case, it suggests changing things at work. If it's not the case, I need to readjust and make the most of my 9-5 hours by including items such as this. This also underscores the importance of trust in the workplace: trusting that higher-level direction is being set appropriately, and trusting individual devs that they're working on problems that have real business value in terms of improving the system in important ways or in making it easier for future work to take place. There's also trust on an intellectual level, which can be established over a handshake, and real trust, which takes time and tests.
So why was I working after hours when I wasn't even getting paged for oncall support or working on a legitimately immobile and uncompromising deadline? Because I found something, and I wanted to see it through, and I haven't redeveloped yet the level of trust that made me feel comfortable not working on it. Fake-it-'til-you-make-it could apply here, but that's already a leap, itself an act of trust. I'd like to make that leap of trust--but I'd also like to hedge my bets.
I've had a go-to-bed alarm set on my FitBit for over a week. I should listen to it--especially when I'm already home and not entertaining. Shoulders and arms feel awesome. Yoga tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment